Dating wifes

Help find these to asian dramas!

2020.11.29 11:09 Status-Doubt-8167 Help find these to asian dramas!

Hello everyone! been looking for these two asian dramas for a couple years after they were removed from netflix. please help find them! both dramas are from the early 2000s, each with up-to-date in drama settings
Asian Drama 1: From what I can remember the plot of the story was about this very ugly girl who worked at this little shop, one day this rich, beautiful , newly wed couple come by the shop on their way to a hiking trip. They speak with the ugly girl briefly and then go about their day, unfortunately there is a terrible accident. The bride is in critical condition and the groom is afraid to face her father and tell him that his only father is dying because of him. So he decides to go after the ugly girl and asks if she would be willing to get plastic surgery to look like his wife, and to pose as her while she recovers. The ugly girl agrees and for a while she tries to live up to the brides lifestyle which includes: running a complaint, spending time with dad, ect. I forget what else happens but then i remember that at the end the bride dies and the father find out what happened but he isn’t upset with the poser girl and instead is very kind to her that’s all i remember, please help me find it!
Asian drama 2 : I don’t remember much about this one, it’s about a girl who works at this restaurant with her father. One day a television host (i think his name was su woo zi but i don’t think so) comes into the store broadcasting his show when all of a sudden he walks into a room (unknowingly) and catches the girl trying to use a pump to make her breast bigger; everything is broadcasted . She becomes a laughing stalk and people began to criticize her small boobs, she confronts the show host and tells him to make up a lie so she isn’t made fun of anymore; so he decides to photoshop her boobs and everyone stops making fun of her. I don’t remember much after that, but i also remember the television host ends up in a slump and gets help from the girl to regain popularity ( or something like that). Another important this o remember is that the the host had an “enemy”, his enemy was a man who’s daughters face was burned on one side because of the host who had something to do with his enemies house burning down leading to his daughter getting hurt and the death of the mans wife. Anyway at the end i remember the man and his daughter moved away and lived a happy life (the daughters burn also healed) and the TV host got married and had a baby with the girl. please help find it!
i know it’s a lot but i would really appreciate it, i’ve been looking for these dramas for SO LONG, i’ve just now decided to ask others for help. Please, any ideas of what they might be is also very appreciated. thank you!!
submitted by Status-Doubt-8167 to KDRAMA [link] [comments]

2020.11.29 10:59 SnooPeripherals835 Heartbroken by a married man

I'm new here, and hoping you'll go easy on me! I 'met' a man through a meditation app three years ago. He is 53 and I am 35. Was with my ex at the time and the man, 'N', told me he was in the process of getting out of his 27 year marriage. We spoke daily and N supported me during my breakup, which was particularly painful. I live in the UK and he lives in the US.
A few months after my relationship ended and I started dating again, N's messages became increasingly romantic saying he wished it was him I was getting dressed up to see etc. I was in a vulnerable place, having been massively let down by my ex, and I suppose the romance developed out of what was a solid friendship after a year or so. He didn't talk about his marriage (or step daughter) much at all, so I presumed the initial situation where he was ending his marriage was still going ahead and didn't want to pry.
There was a period where he'd phone me every day from his car (a bit shady) and send dirty texts throughout his shift at work. He'd tell me he wanted to be with me, and plan to come to the UK and what our lives would be like. However, when I asked him concretely if he'd accompany to my sister's wedding, he brushed it off. It was as if our romantic life existed in fantasy but, when brought into reality, had no place there.
I would hear NOTHING from him at weekends. It soon became clear that he was still married and living with his wife, without any progress being made towards separation. When I questioned him about this, he said he was in therapy and looking for the right time to end things. He said there was still love in the relationship but he didn't love her like he loved me, he was deeply in love with me, I was the love of his life etc. He knew the right things to say.
During the first lockdown, I heard from him sporadically and it hurt. In August, I eventually asked him if he had any intention of leaving his wife since, after knowing each other for three years and having been introduced to him as someone coming out of a long marriage, he seems to have taken several steps back, despite the romantic attachment between us. He told me he didn't know and his heart went backwards and forwards. I said I needed time out, and we didn't speak for 2 months. I eventually contacted him and he was receptive. He said he was trying to sort things out and maybe we could maintain a friendship. After a couple of weeks though, being demoted to friendship after everything we'd shared together felt incredibly painful. I sent him a very honest voice mail saying he needed to take a long look at himself because his behaviour is deceitful and it has hurt me a great deal. I haven't heard from him since: that was over a week ago.
I feel like an utter fool to have believed what he told me, the plans he was supposedly making to be together. His actions are totally incongruent with his words and I called him out on this, now I'm being ghosted. This hurts. I feel heartbroken and don't know what to do. I know the whole situation is being heightened by lockdown which is pretty bad in the UK. So I've had little interaction with people this year and have probably put more emphasis on this communication than I might if I had a fuller life. If you've made it this far, I applaud you and look forward to your responses. Thank you x
submitted by SnooPeripherals835 to adultery [link] [comments]

2020.11.29 10:19 thuspuppy I'm new/Vent

I never really know how to start these things so I'll just jump into it.
My husband and I have been married for a little over a year, dated off and on for about 2 years before that. I knew he drank, but I didn't exactly realize to what extent.
He pressured me into having a wedding with almost none of my family there (I had to fight to have my mother, father, and sister at our beach ceremony, but we still eloped 5 days prior just to keep him happy). I watched him aggressively hurt my dog and hurt our new dog and blamed them for acting up or being aggressive towards him (imo he 100% deserved every single time my dog snapped at him because he's never been remotely nice to her. She's 14lbs and he was totally fine after.)
I wasn't anywhere near remotely happy for at least the first 6 months of our marriage. For close to 2 months straight he'd go to the gas station around the corner and buy 5-6 shooters of liquor and when I'd go buy groceries he'd make passive aggressive comments like "got enough food there?" While he sat on his ass and I had bought the bare minimum of what would get us through the month.
During this time, he would wake me up in the middle of the night, drunk and horny, and get mad when I told him no and he'd storm off into the living room to sleep on the couch. I would confront him, telling him that his behavior was unacceptable. He said I would never understand what it's like to be a guy and be horny and not have sex with the person you apparently oh so desperately want (basically). Utter BS, but whatever. It caused me extreme panic and I wouldn't really sleep. I lived on maybe 10-15 hours of sleep every week and those precious nights when he wouldn't wake me were wonderful. Sometimes I gave in just to get him to go away and would immediately regret it as it would hurt so bad.
He tried to blame my nagging at him for his drinking for a while. It eventually cut back a bit, but he still drinks and I know he's an alcoholic so cutting back just won't do it for him because he's just toeing the line or playing with fire. He has angeattitude issues and I wouldn't be surprised if he would be clinically diagnosed as a narcissist as he has all the symptoms of one.
We moved to Florida so he could attend a Christian college and get a degree in theology as this was something that he was/is newly obsessed with and I figured maybe going to this school would help him.
Well, we've been stuck with my MIL for 5 months and their relationship is horrible (4-6 hour yelling matches over stupid things and neither of them can keep their mouth shut at least 2-4 times a week on the bad weeks) and when those days happen he uses his stress as an excuse to go get those 14%alc beers and slam them as Florida doesn't sell shooters in gas stations. I left for 2 weeks a month or so ago and he got me back by saying all the things I wished he'd said to me before. Now I'm back to square one.
We have no real jobs since the pandemic started. I gave up my career that I loved so he could attend this school. I do everything that I can to avoid him getting stressed and so he can focus on school which is also hurting our marriage (bouncing his mom off him when I can, trying to keep everything as clean as I can because he lives in filth, taking care of the dogs, finances, looking for jobs, working 12 hrs a week at a property consulting office which was the only thing I could find to keep us semi-affloat, etc. ) And he says he's holding up everything.
I love him because I know he could be so much better than he is, but I hate him. I hate his hateful, selfish attitude and his addiction. I hate that he gets the relief of stress from using alcohol while I have nothing to distract me from my husband who doesn't care enough about me to try harder for me and our relationship. I hate him for trapping me 1200miles away from my family and friends and guilting me every time we fight and he becomes the victim of his bitch wife who won't stop nagging.
I don't ever see this ending in a healthy way, whether that's divorcing him entirely and cutting him from my life or working things out. I will always be damaged and always hold resentment towards him for everything that he chose to do.
submitted by thuspuppy to AlAnon [link] [comments]

2020.11.29 10:11 ShadySilvSniper Ideas of books

I have some ideas of books. They are mostly inspired by some movie or stories. I also have some thought about the book2 of TNA. Hope you like them.
  1. I was thinking about Taylor Swift's three love triangle songs. I hope the story can make a movie but a book is still okay. Betty is the MC. We have James as LI and they were already in a relationship in the beginning. James cheated on Betty with someone (many people just named the girl August). Ines is Betty's friend and maybe a LI. She saw the "James, get in, let's drive" part and told Betty when they back at school. There are also one more LI (male) who had a crush on Betty and asked Betty to be her date of a ball (maybe homecoming). Instead of GL, I think it would be MPOV like the songs. You can see the point of views of Betty and James in the majority and maybe one or two chapters for August. You can see James try so hard to apologize in the whole book. You can decide the LI of Betty and also James too (like TC&TF, maybe James end up with August). I hope it would not be too MTFL.
  2. Inspired by "Manchester by the Sea". I used to think if PB have their first male GL book, it can be called "Father of the Year", the sequel of MOTY, about a single father. Then I was thinking how about uncle/aunt and nephew/niece relationship. The story can be MC (GOC) had a brother. The brother and his wife die due to a car accident. They have a son/daughter who is a teenager (I think son will have a better story as a rebellious teenager, but same gender as MC would make sense) MC become the guardian. They were not very close so their relationship is not that great at start. MC had to move in with him/her and find a new job, start a new life, may meet some LIs. I really don't see a lot of uncle/aunt and nephew/niece relationship a lot in choices so why not.
  3. Inspired by " The Good Place" In the afterlife, MC is in heaven but you are so normal compare to the others. You really have a soulmate( customizable gender and race) which maybe a little bit forced. Surprisingly, MC was voted to help the architect with another LI. There will be two more LIs. You can decide your sexuality like TE after you selected your soulmate. You can still choose to be asexual and you will feel strange about that. The architect won't be a LI. The Good Place is a good show. The following plot maybe has some spoilers. MC found that not everyone is perfect. There are some chaos in that place. MC found the place is strange. At the end, instead of The Bad Place, it is a test to found out where you belong to, like the new system of The Good Place. The architect is still an architect, designing the test, instead of demon. Soulmate is randomly arranged and based on your sexuality and MC can still fall in love with the soulmate. For asexual, you will be told that there are not such thing as asexual in the beginning, like the briefing. After knowing that soulmate is randomly arranged, the architect said it would be strange that someone don't have a soulmate. Soulmate can just be a friend instead of lover, like Jason's soulmate in the 2nd attempt. If you do enough good things, you can earn a place to heaven. So it is a point system. You can still go to the heaven without spending any diamonds but a bonus scene if you did, like a collection.
  4. Inspired by Claire Foy's "Unsane". MC had a stalker (male). He made you anxious. You found a psychiatrist and she told you that you needed to live in a psychiatric hospital for a while. You did not have any psychiatric disorder and so did all of the patients. There is a nerve point system like ILS. You and your patient friends needed enough point to escape the hospital. If it is too low you really became crazy and indeed a psychiatric patient. Some of the friends would die. The stalker found a way to work in the hospital. He may kill one of the friends if they have low nerve points. I think three of the LIs are the patients and one of them is a nurse who did not know anything about the hospital, just started working here, thinking the patient had psychosis (?) at first. At the end, if you had a low nerve point but at least one of your friends escaped, you would still be saved but transferred to another hospital. If there are LI escaped (you can choose your LI from the one that escaped), you will have a scene that he/she taking care of you in the new hospital. If not a LI or you choose no one, just a friendly visit. At least one of the friends would survive (highest point) and the POV will change to him/her. It is complicated I know. Also, same as the movie, phones were confiscated so MC and the patient could not call anyone.
  5. The Nanny Affair Book 2 suggestion. Maybe at start, MC had a sex dream about Robin while sleeping with Sam just like the sex dream with Sam in book1. So that Robin will become the official LI. I still don't know ow to deal with the company. Maybe start a new, smaller company, so we have new characters. "Fan-favorite characters will also have a bigger role" which is obviously saying Robin. No more villain and really becoming a LI? Helping MC maybe hire her to Dalton Enterprises or join their new company?
submitted by ShadySilvSniper to Choices [link] [comments]

2020.11.29 09:14 HumiliatedNoire My abuse story: Dating different types of abusers

I have only been in abusive relationships and I am getting a dark feeling about not ever being able to have a successful relationship.
The 1st guy I ever dated I met when I was 16 at my 1st job. He came in and was extremely verbally abusive to all of my coworkers but was coming on to me , and complimenting me in front of them. I can vividly remember thinking in my mind "I would never date this dude." I remember feeling extremely embarrassed because of the other customers that were around that could hear him as well as my co-workers. I was extremely shy and his advances may be very uncomfortable
Fast forward about 6 months I am now 17, we meet again at a gas station. He approaches my car as I am pumping gas and have my back turned, he came over to confront me and ask me if he knows me. I immediately recognised him as the "crazy person" from the store from months previous, I told him I didn't know him. He recognised me immediately from the store and proceeded to again hit on me and ask for my number. I proceeded to give him my number even I was a little bit nervous. He was very charming now and that attracted me to him in this moment, as opposed to before when I had met him originally. There was a different level of charm and he came off almost is being nice for a few minutes.
He takes his phone back from me some done putting my number in there, and he then proceeds to pick up his phone and call someone. My phone begins to ring... He immediately called me right there at the gas pump. He looked me dead in my eyes and told me he was just making sure that I had given him the right number and that I wasn't playing games with him. I can remember that moment thinking that was insane and how uncomfortable it made me...but I proceeded to date him because obviously he was SUPER interested in me.
A couple of days pass and we are texting and call each other. He kept asking for me to hang out with him but I could not hang out with him without him meeting my family 1st. He came over he met 2 of my family members and this is where he proceeded to 1st lie about his age not just to me but to my family. This is when he told us he was 26 years old. This meeting with my family is where I found out that he had 6 children. My family thought it would be a terrible idea for me to date him and told me not to....I proceeded to see him anyway.
I found out months later, he was in fact 32 years old and not 26 and had a laundry list of domestic violence charges against him. I had already suspected he was dealing drugs and or guns at the time. He never hit me but he was definitely physically aggressive and I was made aware he wasn't afraid to put his hands on a woman.
It was very on again off again for 2 and a 1/2 years until he went to prison. When week he would be calling me everyday, texting me, wanting to be in my presence and then he would go dead silent for weeks months and then reappear as if nothing had happened. I was constantly being pressured to have sex with him or begin a sexual relationship with him I was not ready for that and held to it, that is the only thing I'm quite proud of myself for. I didn't just give into doing that with him for years.
When I would attempt to be intimate with him there was always a lot of pressure for me to perform. I don't know any other way to say that. I would get really nervous and wanna stop and he would be pissed. Than it would be an argument about high was ready to be in adult and how he didn't know anyone in a relationship as long as we were together (🙄) that hadn't had sex. This was something I heard constantly during the first 2.5 years of being on and off.
The 1st time we had sex, my first time...he was drunk. He was drinking a tall beer on the side of the bed while he was kissing me. I still hate the smell of Miller Lite beer.We fought over the use of wearing a condom, he was refusing. I refused to do it without. I had purchased condoms just for this reason because I refused to be pregnant by him. Eventually he complied while complaining.
I wasn't ready for penetration, again. I felt bad, I started to kinda push away from him and let him know I was scared and I needed a break. He told me "I'm almost in" and continued until he was. It wasn't the worst experience it wasn't the best. He would periodically take a sip from his beer while he was inside me. I was uncomfortable, it was starting to hurt and I asked him if he was close to finishing and he grabbed my face and pulled it close to his, looked me dead in my eyes and told me:
"DON'T SAY THAT! means your not enjoying yourself"
kissed me and continued thrusting away until he finished several minutes later. I can remember him looking at the sheets after and confirming he now knew I was actually a virgin because there was blood on the sheets...yeah. We had sex one other time after that and we never were alone in a room again together. He went to prison for 5 years and contacted me while locked up and occasionally after in attempts to see if we would ever be a thing again. We weren't.
Fast forward another couple of years I meet another older man at 23, he was 44 had 2 kids and was going through a divorce. He was different, emotionally very needy. We never fought, he was extremely kind and thoughtful in the beginning. He had an apartment where we spent most of our time together. This relationship had no ups and downs, his red flags were little lies I would catch him in. The first thing he lied about was his name. He actually lied about this twice. The second his relationship status, he had told me he was separated when we'd originally met but he was still living at home with the wife for the first couple of weeks of our relationship.
This relationship was far more sexual. Where sex with the 1st person I was with was very scary and I was being pressured into it, with this person it was just the opposite. I could not get enough, we could not get enough of each other. Looking back this relationship was entirely based around the sexual relationship between he and I for him, it was not that way for me, but it definitely was that way for him. In this relationship I was forced into sexual situations without realising it, he was much better at manipulating me into thinking these incidents were "accidents" or mishaps that just kind of "happen" during sex between people.
Unfortunately I believed this until I was waking from a dream and I was horrified to find him having sex with me while I was asleep. I tried to lift myself off the bed to get up and he quieted his breathing and put his weight down on me and continued. I was mortified, I was in complete shock and I just sunk down into the mattress until he finished, rolled off of me and fell asleep. I stayed up the rest of the night trying to figure out if it really happened or not. Even though that is absolutely ridiculous, of course it happened. I was in pain, that was what woke me up from the dream, I was shaking uncontrollably, I could feel his seamen leaking out of me and I was still questioning what took place. Trying to make excuses for him.
When we finally broke up he texted me to tell me "there was someone else" and "he had married his best friend of 20 years"....this was his ex-wife's best friend. He had been having a long term affair with her and they got married right after his divorce was finalized. Which was shortly after I was assaulted. I still have the text from him tell him me
"if it wasn't for her, it would have been you." ......I still don't know exactly how to feel about that.
The last guy was a guy I had dated right after my break up with the serial husband. He was only 6 years old than I, was super straight laced and was "the nice guy." I turned him down 5 years ago because he was so nice it scared me. He was extremely thoughtful but I thought it came off kind of....clingy, I stopped going on dated with him. The last date we went on I had mentioned I wasn't affectionate (I'm not intonPDA or hand holding, hugs, kissing, etc) he still at the end of the date hugged me twice and kept rubbing me arm and back and saying I was in fact affectionate. This was really triggering for me at the time. I knew instantly I was done seeing him he wasn't respecting or hearing my boundries. He texted on and off for about 1.5 years pursuing me, I though that was a sign of a nice guy with genuine interest....
I took 5 almost 6 years of my life to focus on my career and myself. I didn't date at all during that time. I was completely celibate (not that that matters I guess. Maybe TMI sorry) I focused on me and the things that make me happy. I move my business from one company to another and I see Mr. Noce Guy's number and name come up on my social media app. I'd already auto sent him a follow invite (he was still in my contacts) he immediately sent me a photo and messaged me. He was such a nice guy, just immature and a bad listener in my opinion, I wa sure he was married and had kids by now...
He asks me out on a date. We meet up, go to dinner and he proceeds to tell me about his ex-fiance and how they are living together still. Apparently she has cheated on him with another woman, lied about her career and now didn't have a job and he didn't want to kick her out.... Now I definitely saw the red flags here. Nothing about that story sounded right, absolutely nothing. I knew he was lying, hell he could tell from my face I knew he was lying but I figured I wasn't looking for a relationship, I just wanted someone to hang out with occasionally that I wouldn't have to worry about hurting me. Mr. Nice Guy, while a liar, yes, he still was not a physical threat to me and that was important over all other things and he wasn't a "total stranger." He was now a police officer, like he'd said he wanted to be on our first date years ago, it seemed like maybe this time thing might just be falling into place to start....maybe...
Anyway, this time I KNEW I was taking a risk, the red flags were there. I acknowledged them. Unlike before with this man I immediately jumped in bed with him. There were several selfish reasons for this, I have needs and I had been without for a long time. He felt safe, so I felt comfortable having sex with him. It was great but not emotional on any level.
Now this is where his behavior didn't match his pity party story. His behavior hiding match his behavior from years ago, after a couple weeks he became distant then clingy, then distant and clingy. It was bizarre. I knew what was going on between us wasn't going to last even 6 months. The lies were constant and he was extremely hyper-sexual. The only conversations we would have would be about sex or "his friends" kinks, etc. I'd never heard of a police officer with so many stories of seeing people on the job naked or catching people in the act in parks, etc.. We were only 6 weeks in when I caught him recording me during sex on his cellphone without my permission. That was a hard stop for me. I have had to speak to an attorney about this and have completely separated myself from him. I recently found out he has a family member that has been arrested and currently in prison for recording people in public and private spaces unclothed or using the bathroom.....
When confronted he flipped it around on me. Told me he didn't know what I was talking about. Then that I was over reacting, then informed me of his disappointment in my thinking he would do something I'd witnessed with my own eyes. I immediately ceased contact. A month later I see he watched done of my storied on my social media I hadn't blocked him from...this was terrifying to me because it defied all logic. I accused him of recording me while having sex, this is a major crime....he's an officer, this could cost him not just his job but his reputation. He denied it, told me he didn't do it and didn't like being accused of things he didn't do and how disappointed he was in me for thinking he did record me....but he didn't also block me on everything and is still checking up on me and letting it be known. That's pure insanity.
I can't explain why I am drawing these types of men to me. I can't explain why I put up with this behavior. I am terrified of men. Im afraid of relationships, I can't maintain one to save my life.
I also am a problem. I will eliminate someone for ANY REASON. I have eliminated candidates that I think would have been better suited but they did something I didn't like or said something that made me uncomfortable and I never went out with them again. I wait too long to cut off the wrong people and too quick to get rid of good people. I've never been with a man who hasn't violated me in some way sexually. I'm frustrated, I'm tired and I'm feeling quite defeated. All I really want is a family.
Thanks for reading I hope this helps someone realize they deserve better.
submitted by HumiliatedNoire to NarcissisticAbuse [link] [comments]

2020.11.29 09:00 climber3000 First all-bi swap

I'm bi and my wife is comfortably curious. We got in contact with a couple with similar but reversed bisexuality (she is bi, he is comfortably curious). Chatted for a while, set the date, and it went off very well. At a couple of points there was an amazing flow with everyone interacting with everyone. Really got my brain lighting up and those endorphins flowing. Can highly recommend.
submitted by climber3000 to Swingers [link] [comments]

2020.11.29 08:57 deelan1990 Looking for suggestions on fun and interesting date night ideas

As per the title, I am looking for ideas for date night/day to do with my wife.
Restaurants recommendations are welcome too as she loves italian food (predominantly pasta)
Thank you in advance 😊
submitted by deelan1990 to brisbane [link] [comments]

2020.11.29 08:51 nips927 Am I weird

29m, I've been single for 3yrs. I've dated here and there in that time. But the longer I'm single the more normal it is. I have friends that are married and in relationships. They were telling me earlier how their wives and gfs track their phone. They tell me stuff how they have to put with stupid bs. Or how their wife gets mad him for spending time with his friends. How arguments just start for no reason just tons of bs.
The more I hear this the less I feel attracted to people. However part of me wants a relationship, I miss having someone but I don't feel like it worth giving up everything I have. I could talk to 100 women and not feel anything for them. I feel weird and out of place for this.
submitted by nips927 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]

2020.11.29 08:42 Least_Perspective99 Need brick wall help

Name: Kate Weidner
Gender: Female
Date of Birth: 16 Ausgust 1845
Location of Birth: Berks, Pennsylvania, USA

Date of Marriage: 1888?, husband is Franklin " Franklin" Clouser
Location of Marriage: Pennsylvania

Date of Death: 21 January 1917
Location of Death: Berks, Pennyslvania, USA

Military Service(yes/no, country/branch): No

Other Information:

Her death record states she is the daughter of John Weidner and Elizabeth Reppert. Other than that I am finding mixed info on who they are and cant find a record of who she is. She goes by Kate through her entire life and in her obituary. In the census of the household of John Weidner, a Catherine is mentioned, next census a Catherina is mentioned with the same others. Also, in the 1860 census his wife is listed as Licy. Does anyone know why this is?
What I am looking for or need help with:

I've found info on the Repperts and Weidners but want to find something concrete about them. I want to find out if she is the Catherine Weidner in the census, who her parents truly are, and any other info related to that. MAybe even grandparents. Also, in the 1860 census his wife is listed as Licy. Does anyone know why this is? The children and ages line up but with the name changes im not sure.

Also there is a marriage record for 1888 but in the 1880 census she is already listed as Kate Clouser and has a child.

Sources already used:,0.10040169,0.26329005,0.34284243&xid=3355&_ga=2.54433256.1392024362.1606624536-1051614400.1602347749¤tPageIsStart=¤tPageIsStart= (info on grave is wrong, the year)
submitted by Least_Perspective99 to Genealogy [link] [comments]

2020.11.29 07:41 whattodoiamconfused What should I do? 29M 5 years married!

Hi all,
Throwaway account. I am sorry if I have some spelling mistakes. Been following this section of reddit and have been contemplating to whether ask for advice or not.
In the end something happened over the weekend and I am unsure what to do.
Met my wife (28) 6 years ago through a common friend. Fell in love and got married. Now I dint want to marry so soon but sex was great, chemistry was great so what the hell right? She had a tiny rule where I have to talk to her orthodox parents before we could date. Her parents spoke to my parents and next thing we know is that we got married.
She was completing her Masters and things changed as soon as she graduated. She was not able to find a job which was taking a toll on her mental health. Our sex life started declining and I was ok since her mental health was more important. Soon I found her a job and she started working.
All this while, I was in good touch with her family. She never liked my family and dint talk to them at all. While she was searching for job, I became jobless too and we both were living off my dad who sent us $60000 that year for us to survive.
No appreciation and my dad dint even want appreciation. One day while my parents were in town, she fought with them and they left the town earlier than expected.
All this while, we would have sex hardly once every two months. Our sex life is still boring, its been 3 months we have had sex.
Fast forward this week, thanksgiving and me along with our friends were out. We clicked few pictures. While I was airdropping the photos from one of my friends phone (26 F), she started telling me how I should not take anyones phone and my friend was upset.
I agreed and said sorry to my friend. She said she never had any problem. She was not upset and my wife sent her a text on how She should not give her phone to me since they both talk in private and have some conversations that I dont know.
I dont know how to take this. The sex life is zero, she has “private conversations “ that I should not be knowing, disrespectful to my parents.
submitted by whattodoiamconfused to relationship_advice [link] [comments]

2020.11.29 07:35 satur9sweetness Men: would you marry a girl w SI scars?

I just turned 30. My whole life I’ve always just wanted to have a husband and be a house wife. I know that’s against societies expectations for women but that’s what I’ve always a wanted.
I have self inflicted for many years (not anymore) but the scars are pretty visible, and pretty gruesome. Do I even have a chance at finding love or a husband? Am I even ‘attractive’ with these scars? I have no problem finding guys to “hook up” with, but I’m speaking about long term, not just sex or FWB.
Even if I find a husband, will they hide my arms? Be ashamed, embarrassed? Lie about my scars? Do I have to keep it hidden or a secret? I want to be shown off to friends and family, but will I with these scars? Can anyone be proud of someone who has failed so bad at life?
I want to make a profile on dating sites but I’m not sure how to handle this.
submitted by satur9sweetness to NoStupidQuestions [link] [comments]

2020.11.29 07:10 robin_hood13 How to date someone in a completely different stage of life & how to address insecurities (F22/M30)

Some background: We met when I was 19 years old and he was 27. I was living in France at the time but we met when both of us were staying in the same hostel in Spain. (He lives in Texas but flew over for a few weeks. I am from Georgia, but took a gap year in France). We only spent two wonderful and magical days together and then he returned home. A few days later, he called me and asked me if I would like to go on a trip six months from now and I said yes. Six months later, we traveled to Greece, Belgium and France and I fell hopelessly in love with him.
Fast forward three years later I am now graduating college this year and he is 30. We’ve been doing long-distance since the start. There was about a year break but for the last nine months we’ve been visiting each other every month and spending as much time as we can. My question is... where do we go from here?
We haven’t said “I love you yet” and he never calls me his girlfriend. I’m not sure if it’s because I told him I’m unsure if I can commit to this for life or if it’s something else. He always tells me that he isn’t just dating around anymore and the next person he calls his girlfriend will be his wife. Yet... I feel so insecure that he refuses to call it that.
He was going to meet my whole family for Thanksgiving then he got COVID. I’m so discouraged because that was going to be such a big step for us...
Also, now with COVID, I have no idea where I am going to be where I graduate, what I’m going to be doing or where he fits in!
Am I right to feel insecure? Should I start thinking about forever with this guy? Should I say “I love you” first? Should I plan my future career around him?
It’s tough because he’s successful in his work field and worked hard to get there. He says he is willing to move wherever I am, but I feel like I could never actually ask him to do that. It’s hard that we are in such different phases in life.
Does anyone have any words of advice?
submitted by robin_hood13 to AgeGap [link] [comments]

2020.11.29 07:02 ILoveDavidsPP Family condescending towards my [24F] lifestyle

There are certain aspects of my life that are minimalist and frugal and my family is making fun of me because of it. For reference, I work in IT making 45k a year living in the Midwest. I don’t make much but that’s my salary. I try to live below my means and I tend to not buy a lot of “wants”. I am not in any debt.
I have a 2013 Prius (which is a very hated model for some reason). My parents initially bought me this car as a high school graduation gift and I kept it since then since it works and has given me no problems.
My brother (43M) pressures me into getting a new car simply because I’m too old to be driving around a car my parents bought me years ago and because it’s too “small, dangerous, and ugly”. My brother is big into tech. Any new tech that comes out from Apple he buys it immediately no matter the cost. The only difference is that he can afford to do so (I’m sure he’s making around 100k). I cannot afford to keep up with the newest technology. He’ll make fun of me saying “you still have that old phone? You need to upgrade your phone, laptop, tablet” etc. Each time I see him he brags about the new gadget he has and tells me that I need to get it. He’ll call me cheap (not considering my salary which he’s aware of) and say that he doesn’t know how I live without whatever gadget he’s talking about at the time. I’ve been blunt with him before telling him that I don’t plan to buy something or that it’s not in my budget and he’ll ignore this until the next time I see him saying how much I need it. Once he realizes that my decision is made, he’ll sometimes offer to buy it for me out of pity since I’m “missing out”.
The items that I own all work and I cannot justify paying lots of money for something just because it’s an upgrade. If something that I have stops working then I’ll likely buy a used item in functional condition (phone, car, etc).
My brother is also condescending towards buying secondhand stuff. It applies to clothing, vehicles, tech, home appliances. My other brother (46M) has a wife with 4 children. He bought a used refrigerator and stove and my brother who doesn’t have a family said that he could’ve just bought new appliances since used stuff is gross. The brother with a family also bought a used truck a few years ago and the brother without a family said that he should’ve bought a new vehicle and he could tell that it’s used. He didn’t take into consideration his finances and needing to save money to support his family.
It’s usually either my brother(s) making fun of my lifestyle or dates. Some dates I’ve gone on with guys, they’ll be condescending towards how ugly my car is assuming I’m poor for driving a Prius. I invited a guy over once to my apartment and we watched shows on TV and he said “you can afford a flat screen TV but not Hulu without commercials?”. This guy was almost 30 living with his parents working at a pizzeria...but I didn’t care about that until it because a problem how he treated me. I genuinely feel like I shouldn’t have been judged by him out of all people.
I’m not sure why family/romantic interests seem to worry so much about my finances, lifestyle, and personal choices when they’re not affected by them. Despite my brothers having money now, my family grew up poor. My brother seems to forget this and he seems like he’s overcompensating for growing up without everything he wanted and making me feel bad about not having what he has. My parents understand and they support my frugal lifestyle since they are frugal themselves (they were raised poor). But my brother just seems to either treat me like a charity case or he prefers to spend unnecessary money on me for trivial tech items rather than donating money to those in need. There are literal people without food and a home (especially now). I can’t be selfish even if he’s offering to buy me things.
I’m feeling very stressed due to my brother and also less than because I can’t have the same things. I moved about an hour away from my family for work and my brother is saying that I’m selfish for living so far from our parents.
submitted by ILoveDavidsPP to Frugal [link] [comments]

2020.11.29 06:56 Boatwhistle I don't like dating but I want a wife and child within then next 5 years.

I am suboptimal in a lot of ways that matter. All of it can be addressed/finish being addressed within the next 2-3 years. When I was 21 I was an alcoholic of 3 years, heavy smoker, spite filled, dangerously depressed, and categorically extremely obese. The process of getting to that point started halfway through high school, and as a result wanting or considering a relationship was always out of the question.
Since then I have gradually banished my demons and steadily worked to fix myself thanks to the love and support of my family, which they did despite how awful I was. I haven't had alcohol in 2 years, smoked in 1 1/2, I have lost 110lbs in the past 7 months, and I make a point of making up lost time with those I care about. I have an okay income, I am kinda stuck waiting for this covid thing to end so I can go to a trade school to eventually make money of note worthiness. After I finish school my father wishes to gift me a half acre to build a home on, as during my 5 year nightmare of an existence I have been shamefully reliant on family. My health is on point down to having no nutrient deficiencies, only thing that isn't optimal is I am still 45 to 55 lbs over weight which will take me at least 3 more months to fix, maybe as much as 5 months.
All and all I believe I will be an ideal partner inside the next 2 years as I will have good health, reliable income, and a home of my own to share. The problem is that I have no clue where to start when that time comes and it bothers me. I like people but I am not a socially gifted person. I also trained myself during my healing process to value practicality above all else. As a result it has occurred to me I have no real flavor to impress anyone with. I am big into fitness, I like motorcycling, and I enjoy fighting sports/martial arts. That is all there is to me right now beyond my goal to be an independent and functioning individual.
I am not the romantic type and I don't wanna sleep around. I want to find someone who wants to work as hard as I do to make a prosperous life and successful offspring. I expect them to work just as hard to be healthy and contribute a good income so the child has the best life possible and their potential can be maximized.
Is it worth my time to make an effort dating at this point or must I wait until I have more cards to put on the table?
submitted by Boatwhistle to dating_advice [link] [comments]

2020.11.29 06:22 ThrowRA_sexless I'm (25M) very jealous of my gf's (24F) experience!

We've been in a relationship for a year. This might sound immature but I'm very jealous and get this FOMO feeling a lot because of her.
This is my first relationship, first kiss, first sex and first everything.
She, on the other hand, has experienced it all. Monogamous relationship, FWBs, open relationship, innumerable dates, innumerable hookups, experiments with her own gender. Like she can't even remember the faces.
Like this was my the dream before settling down. I know it's my fault for never approaching girls (my gf was the one who asked me out) but man I just don't like it at times.
Apparently she is so experienced that for her emotional connection is utmost priority (that's how much she is done with sex and all). She wouldn't mind if I'm only sexually involved with others but emotionally she must be the one (wife and mistresses scenario)
All my life I was hardwired that one doesn't see any other girl in a monogamous relationship and then she comes along who is casual about me hooking up. Since I'm inexperienced I'm scared what if I catch feelings for someone else
So I feel confused. Like should I give it a try or not?
TL;DR Jealous of my gf's experience. Wondering what should I do?
submitted by ThrowRA_sexless to relationship_advice [link] [comments]

2020.11.29 05:45 Training_Ad_1024 Black woman, how do you feel about reformed black men?

Hey ladies, I’m a 24 year old black man wondering if you would date a man who’s changed his perspective. I was never disrespectful to black women and have always taken care of my nieces/cousins but I ignored black women in my dating/social life and failed to acknowledge their struggles. I’m well educated and fairly successful with enough resources to provide for a family. I live in a European city that is less than 1% black & is over 80% white so I’ve only dated white women, as I’ve matured I’ve realised that marrying another race of women would be suicide and I don’t want to pass down wealth to another group of people. I am also uncomfortable around white women's families and I can’t discuss black culture with her or them, I don’t want a trophy wife and would love a black family.
I see all the complaints black woman have and I have experienced some of them such as fetishisation, I never promoted my preference and I didn’t have a bad word to say about black women but subconsciously I adopted the European standard of beauty. I no longer dismiss black women romantically and I acknowledge their struggles. I’m appreciating their presence, mind, beauty and values instead of just looking at them as platonic friends. I’m moving to a bigger city in 2021 with a much larger black population and I want a serious relationship with a black woman. I honestly accept the judgement from black women but I hope someone will understand that I was immature, self hating and ignorant. Would my dating past put you off?
Thanks for taking the time to read all that.
submitted by Training_Ad_1024 to blackladies [link] [comments]

2020.11.29 05:23 ThrowRA_sexless I'm (25M) very jealous of my gf's (24F) experience!

We've been in a relationship for a year. This might sound immature but I'm very jealous and get this FOMO feeling a lot because of her.
This is my first relationship, first kiss, first sex and first everything.
She, on the other hand, has experienced it all. Monogamous relationship, FWBs, open relationship, innumerable dates, innumerable hookups, experiments with her own gender. Like she can't even remember the faces.
Like this was my the dream before settling down. I know it's my fault for never approaching girls (my gf was the one who asked me out) but man I just don't like it at times.
Apparently she is so experienced that for her emotional connection is utmost priority (that's how much she is done with sex and all). She wouldn't mind if I'm only sexually involved with others but emotionally she must be the one (wife and mistresses scenario)
All my life I was hardwired that one shouldn't see any other girl in a monogamous relationship. And then she comes along who is this casual about me hooking up. I'm scared since I'm inexperienced what if I catch feelings for someone else
So I feel confused. Like should I give it a try or not?
TL;DR Jealous of my gf's experience. Wondering what should I do?
submitted by ThrowRA_sexless to relationships [link] [comments]

2020.11.29 05:19 SunshotDestiny Not strictly about being trans, but I am so pissed off right now

Sorry if this doesn't 100% fit here as it isn't explicetly related to being trans, but I am just so freaking pissed off I can't stand it. Plus I have nowhere else really to vent and get this off my chest. This may be a longish rant.
I live with two people, let's call them Dick and Karen. I used to call them friends but these names fit them better these days. Originally I moved into their house because I was unsure if or how long I was going to stay in this town, and they needed some extra money. So I pay a 1/3 of the utilities and an extra $500 for rent. Which is very overpriced for what I am getting.
Dick is basically a spineless wimp who basically submits to Karen's demands about everything. He constantly moves to other parts of the house when I enter an area but has always insisted that he isn't trying to avoid me. He just likes to be alone or so he claims. Meanwhile he is trying to go back to school and apparently even though part time I will give him he has had better outcome of that then I have so far due to my medical issues from stress. However this also means I get to listen to his wife "tutor" him in subjects like math which consists of loud yelling and berating.
Karen is from Thailand, and you would think that with how being trans is more accepted over there she would accept me as a woman right? Well I didn't know this until moving in but apparently that isn't the case, she uses the right pronouns and such but regards me as a "ladyboy". Not that this isn't the only cultural clash, such as I can't wear shoes in the house from the front door to take out the trash out the back door. I can't eat downstairs because she is scared of mice...that she only has seen upstairs. She has "inspected" my rented portion of the house when I wasn't home, and she has tried to rent more of the basement out to where I would have been tripping over a strange guy and sharing a bathroom with him. Also did I mention I don't have a lockable door to my bedroom? I don't know if he would have done something to a trans woman, but I wasn't keen to find out. Also when I protested the move she basically threw me under the bus by showing the guy the area but then blaming me for why she couldn't rent to him.
Then...came Covid, and if I thought it was bad before holy shit did it get worst. First off came the the fact that I apparently have seasonal allergies which makes me cough. I found this out because my roommates were freaking out so badly I had to call my mother, a doctor, to assure them that I didn't actually have the Covid. Then came the "I thought we agreed to wipe our shoes down" because Karen and I both work at the local hospital. Never mind if I actually worked around a covid patient at the time, I was assumed dirty until proven uninfected.
Then came one of my worst shifts ever. A co-worker I had known from a previous job before it got bought out by my current job had started to use me as a punching bag. That night she and two other nurses decided I couldn't do anything right and basically not only made me feel like shit during the shift, but had an "intervention" where for 30 minutes she basically berated me with three other nurses after shift. Telling me that I was worthless at my job, that I should be thanking them for having a job as they could get me fired, and the cherry on top was the one nurse bragging that my transition on the job went so well because of her intervention and calming people down. Later on this did get addressed by my manager, or she tried, but it just made things worse.
But on that day I went home and was basically in tears, and to sum up what living with my roommates is like; Karen decided with me already in tears that she might as well just give me all the bad news at once and said she and Dick were thinking of having me move out. During the middle of the first wave where nobody was renting, moving, or anything was open. That was what my "friend" decided to drop on me.
I think that once Dick couldn't work for a while they realized how important having me paying money was to helping them stay afloat, because they largely backed off on "inspections" and invading my space during the worst of it. But they were upset because I "wasn't taking Covid seriously" when I was, just not being ultra paranoid like they were being because I worked in a hospital and realized that it likely would be a "when" not "if" I would actually catch it. Though ironically it was THEY who caught it and I am still negative after both my roommates having had to deal with it.
Which brings me to tonight. I already am stressed over my online romantic interest suddenly becoming VERY interested in how I am investing my money, and giving me the cold shoulder when I tried to tactfully but firmly change the subject. So walking upstairs to make dinner Karen is on me going "I thought we agreed to wear masks around each other"...despite she already having had the virus AND having done the quarantine time. Both of them.
At that point I just told them I was going out to eat, and Karen insisted I could cook my dinner but I just had it. Which I am just DONE. I am done with them, I am done with online dating, I am done with my parents, and frankly if it wasn't on principle of my religious and spiritual beliefs I would at this point just be done with LIFE. I am so tired of the drama, the bullshit, the pain, and everything that comes with being a normal person, but since I am not I also get to added joy of being a trans woman on top of that. Then having people judge me either as a trans woman trying to be a normal woman, or as an overweight and very tall woman who is overweight from stress and not being able to take care of herself because she spends all her energy on entitled patients who messed up their lives and are pissed off that doctors can't wave magic wands to make them better.
I'm just tired, alone, and so fucking sick and tired of dealing with humanity.
submitted by SunshotDestiny to honesttransgender [link] [comments]

2020.11.29 05:11 wizord89 AITA for not trusting my mom as much as she wants me to?

i’ve never made one of these posts before so sorry in advance for any errors!
i’m 16 and a trans guy. my family, both immediate and extended, is extremely traditional. they all carry that typical sexist, viciously homophobic, low key racist mindset— you know the one. i’ve never been allowed to date or even talk to boys, and at a very young age, i was told that i’d be having an arranged marriage once i was 19-20, just like my parents.
now my mom has always been the loudest wrt her views on how a wife/woman ‘should be’. she’s been giving me advice and ‘tips’ on how to be a good wife ever since i was eleven, because she says she loves me and wants to me to be prepared for the wedded life. (like for example, when i was 15, she gave me an entire lecture about how i’m supposed to ‘pleasure’ my husband once i get married. i asked her if sex was something i could choose to have, and she said no. if my husband ever asked for sex, i’d have to give it to him, no questions asked. as his wife, it’d be taboo for me to deny him sex, even if i wasn’t in the mood or just didn’t want to. i tried to argue with her, and she got angry, so i dropped it. that conversation really stuck with me though. ever since then, it really start to hit me that i’d be closeted forever, married to a man i don’t know and love. makes me miserable af)
but the thing is, my mom always tells me to treat her like she’s my best friend. she wants me to tell her everything, wants me to trust her completely. whenever she finds out i kept something from her, no matter how small it is, she gets really hurt and upset, which in turn makes me feel incredibly guilty. i love her bc she’s my mom, of course i do, but god i just can’t get myself to be as open with her as she wants me to be. like i know the second i let loose anything about me being trans she’ll take her love back, you know? i just can’t help but feel like i’m lying to her, or taking advantage of her or something. whenever she tells me she loves me and trusts me i feel like a total dick because i know if she ever found out about the trans thing it’d completely ruin her
submitted by wizord89 to AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]

2020.11.29 04:53 redemption973 My dream last night

I have turned my ex-wife into my paid whore [MF].
Warning: this isn't the typical sex story. In fact, most of the sex here is only briefly described. What this IS is a real, non-fiction story about my ex wife. In my opinion, the situation is red-hot enough without the play-by-play. I hope you agree.
Cindy and I were divorced about 5 years ago. We have two children and both wanted the divorce to be as easy as possible for the sake of all of us. And for the most part, it was.
We did a DIY divorce with no lawyers. It was pretty straightforward and in the end the judge altered our agreement to ensure that Cindy received a considerable amount more for child support. At the time, I was in upper management at a very large company, and had a large salary/bonus. Cindy had decided to go back to school to become a nurse. The divorce settlement provided her with ample money and assistance with insurance for the kids, etc. Bottom line, her monetary wants were taking care of.
We split the time with our children 50/50. I paid her half of the equity in our house and I decided to remain living there with the kids. They had grown up there and I wanted them to have some sense of normalcy after the divorce. I helped Cindy get her own townhouse and furnish it. I didn't want my children to have everything they needed at one house but be lacking at the other house.
Although the divorce went as smoothly as can be hoped for, that didn't erase the acrimonious feelings I had for Cindy. Without getting into the nitty-gritty, suffice it to say that Cindy was not faithful in the end. And even though we both put on a good face and got along well for the sake of the children, I still resented her for her part in breaking up the marriage.
My house (the one from the marriage) is quite large. When we were married, Cindy was a stay-at-home mom and she performed all of the domestic house cleaning duties. Now that we are divorced, and I travel quite a bit for work, I hired someone to clean the house - two people, actually. Two women work as a team and clean houses for a living. I pay them $110 to clean the house every two weeks. The ladies do a very good job, have a key to my house, and I've had no problems with them whatsoever.
Fast forward to covid-19. Up until the quarantine, Cindy had been working full-time as a nurse at an eye clinic. She had done well for herself and made enough money to support her lifestyle. I still pay a large amount in child support (and still keep my children 50% of the time). Fortunately, I have advanced in my company and do quite well for myself. What used to be a large drain on my income, child support has become less of a financial burden.
But, covid-19 has changed things. I am strictly work-from-home. My income hasn't slipped, fortunately.
Cindy, however, hasn't fared as well. A few months ago, she came over to my house to drop the kids off for my time with them. We struck up a conversation and I invited her inside for a glass of wine. She told me that her hours at the eye clinic had been cut by about a third. Many of the operations at the eye clinic were deemed to be non-essential and therefore there wasn't as much work to be done. Instead of layoffs, the doctors decided to reduce everyone's hours.
This conversation was just that - a conversation. We brainstormed a bit about what she could do to make up the reduced time. I mentioned to her that I'm sure the local hospital could use part-time nurses at a time like this. She balked at the idea, saying that she wasn't that kind of nurse. I asked her what that meant and she said "I just don't do that kind of work. You know, dealing with the blood, guts, and shit of everyday nursing."
To be honest, I was taken aback by that. The way I see it, in hard times we do hard things to get by. Here she was lamenting about not enough hours to support her lifestyle, yet she wasn't willing to do the dirty work needed to make up the difference. All the while, I'm paying child support to someone who keeps the children the same amount of time I do. That may sound bitter, but I'm not bitter. Like I said, we've had a good post-divorce relationship. But her refusal to take up the slack left a bad taste in my mouth. And I told her it did. She said "Well, I'll figure something out.", and left.
A couple of weeks after that conversation, Cindy approached me with an idea. She asked me if I still had the ladies cleaning my house. I told her I did. She made a comment that since I'm not traveling during the quarantine, why wasn't I doing it myself? I didn't see how this was any of her business. The ladies had been doing a good job for years and were loyal to me and I was loyal to them. I could still afford it, so why would I put a hardship on the ladies for no reason?
But I didn't tell Cindy any of that. I know her well enough to know that there was something behind her question. I asked her what she was getting at. She said "Well, I cleaned this house for years and you know I can do a good job, so why don't you let me clean it for you? You could just pay me instead of paying the ladies."
On the surface, it wasn't an unreasonable request. But I have gotten used to not having my ex-wife around, and have enjoyed our separation immensely. The pain and hurt was still there from her actions during the marriage, and frankly, if we didn't have children together, I wouldn't hang out with her. Bottom line, I have moved on from her manipulative ways and didn't want her hanging around my house, snooping around for hours at a time.
I told her that I wasn't big on the idea but I would think about it. Over the next few days, I did think about it A LOT. There was no way I was going to fire the ladies during a quarantine when they had done nothing wrong. One day an idea popped into my head. I admit that it is grounded in a bit of pettiness and vindictiveness, and a good measure of perversion.
When Cindy came the next time to do the exchange of children, she asked me if I had thought about it. I waited until the kids had gone up to the playroom to play video games before I answered her. We both went into the kitchen and I poured a glass of wine for us. I said "Yes I've thought about it and I'm not going to fire the ladies." Cindy started to protest but I cut her off. I told her my reasons and that my decision was final. When she predictably started to get pissy about it, I told her I had a different idea for her to make some money. I told her that she could make the same amount of money in less amount of time with less effort. She was intrigued and asked what it was. I paused. I was struggling to find the way to say it. So I just decided to blurt it out.
"Since we are in quarantine I don't know what your social like is like, but it's put a big crimp into mine. I don't get laid nearly enough." She looked at me and her eyes widened a bit as she processed my words. "My offer is this: you come by every two weeks for an hour and we have sex and I pay you the $110."
I couldn't believe I had just propositioned my ex-wife for prostitution. I was honestly terrified what her response could be. And, it wasn't good. She said "Are you fucking kidding me? You want to pay me for sex like I'm a whore? The mother of your children? What the fuck? You're fucking sick."
You know, I kind of agreed with her. I told her that it was just an idea and the way I saw it it was easy money for her. We had sex for years, so it was nothing new or with no one new. It would only be an hour every two weeks. We both would get some action. I ended the conversation by telling her to think about it. I was okay with the answer either way.
She left in a self-righteous huff. It was okay - I'd seen her in this condition a thousand times before. She'd get over it. Surprisingly, it was the next day when I got a text from her. She said that she had thought about it and that even though she can't believe I'd propose it, it was easy money. We texted back and forth a bit setting up a date, etc. She asked me some logistics stuff like "Do I need to get all slutted up for you or can I just wear my normal clothes?" It's hard to interpret feelings through text but I think she was being both funny and angry at the same time. I didn't care either way. I told her normal clothes were fine.
She showed up at our first scheduled rendezvous. It was SUPER awkward at first because we hadn't had any sensual contact in a long time. The romantic bonds we once shared no longer existed, so there was no natural starting point. Finally, she said some comment like "Well, let's get this over", and started to take off her shirt. I really didn't know how to take her comment. On one hand, it could be considered really rude and demeaning. On the other, she could just be settling into the idea that she was just doing business.
When she dropped her jeans and panties, I was instantly bothered. Her pussy was completely shaved. I had asked her countless times during our marriage to do it, but she gave every reason in the world not to. It all started coming back to me - the dead bedroom, her lack of affection, etc. She commented that one of her old boyfriends liked it shaved, so she just kept it that way. It should have been nothing, but it stuck in my mind.
Our first sex session was pretty standard stuff. Anyone that's been married for a while knows that there's a familiarity rut we all fall into. Quickly this session fell into the same old same old. We finished up a few mins before the hour was up, and she got dressed and I paid her: Five 20s and a 10. She looked up at me and said "Nice doing business with you." She left shortly afterwards.
The thing was, this was part of my plan. I wanted her to be comfortable with the idea of me paying her for sex. I wanted her to think it was just the same old same old and nothing more. But that wasn't the case at all.
On her third visit she came in like normal and started disrobing. While she was unbuttoning her shirt I grabbed her and roughly pushed her against the wall. I pinned her arms up and pulled her shirt off and yanked her bra down to her waist. I held her arms behind her back, pulled her from the wall, and forcefully pushed her towards the bedroom. When we reached the bed, I pushed her face down into it, got on top of her, and reached around and unbuttoned her jeans.
I pulled her jeans and thong down to her knees, pushed my palm into the back of her head, forcing her face into the mattress, and pushed my dick inside of her within a couple of moments. I proceeded to fuck the hell out of her. I spanked her, held her down, and had my way with her. When I was about to come I pulled my dick out of her, yanked her head to my cock, shoved it in her mouth, and came down her throat.
About a minute later, she looked at me strangely and said "What the fuck was that?" I looked at her and told her it was time for her to go. It had only been 15 minutes since she arrived at my door, so she still had plenty of time on the clock. But, she was my paid whore, and I was done with her so I sent her away.
Clearly I had some issues I was still dealing with. All of the things I wanted to do during the marriage, and she wouldn't allow, were now on my agenda. I saw her a couple of days later at my child's soccer match and she had some comments. She said "I don't know what got into you but I still have bruises on my ass thank you very much." I ignored her comments. I could tell something had changed between us even if it was very slight. I felt like I was reclaiming the power I lost through her infidelity. She made a couple more comments about the session and I only replied "We're still on for next time, right?" She looked at me knowing that things had changed indeed. She said that she'd be there.
The next time she arrived she made some quip about arriving for her abuse session. Instead I treated her gently with caresses and kisses to her neck etc. I took her into the living room where I had laid a blanket in front of the roaring fireplace. It was quite the romantic setting and I'm sure it disarmed her. We spent about 20 or 30 minutes doing the normal routine when I put her on all fours and got behind her. I pulled out some coconut oil and lubed up both my cock and her ass. When she felt my finger going into her ass, she quickly spun around and said no no no no no. In all of our marriage she had never given up her ass to me. I told her that I'm the customer and that I want to fuck her ass. She said that was not part of the deal. I told her that actually the deal was sex with me for money. I let that sit in the air for a minute and then said I'd give her a $50 bonus.
I could see the wheels turning in her head. After a few seconds she reluctantly agreed. It's hard to explain, but the sexual excitement I received from watching my ex-wife degrade herself for an additional $50 was far greater than any sexual experience I was having with her . I spun her around and slowly defiled her ass for the first time in my life.
Our most recent session was one week ago. I had a big surprise for her. When she showed up to the house she asked aloud "What perverted thing do you have for me today?". Her voice was cutting - she was trying to regain some measure of control. But her control was lost. She was being paid for sex.
She walked into the living room and froze. In the room was one of my FWBs, a big-titted woman named Sherry. My ex turned to me and said "You've got to be kidding. There's no way I'm hooking up with a girl." I looked at her and said that I'm sure we could come to an agreement. She shook her head and started to leave. I told her that if she left, our arrangement is over. However, if she stayed, we could work out a price. My ex glared at me. She needed the money. She eventually said "$300 extra". I laughed and said that was way too high. I offered her $100 additional. We went back and forth a bit and we settled on $200 extra. I had negotiated price for sexual services with my ex, in front of another woman. The degradation was intoxicating.
My ex said, "Well, what happens now?" I had pre-arranged the next steps with Sherry, my fwb. Silently Sherry crossed the room to my ex, put one hand on her tit, and started kissing her intently. My ex fought back a little, but Sherry was a much larger woman than my petite ex and just managed her.
I had a seat on the couch and just watched the fun. I watched Sherry undress my ex, then undress herself in front of Cindy. Cindy has never been with another woman, so I see the expression on her face when Sherry's big tits exploded out of her bra was priceless. This wasn't a porn moment where my ex happily became a lesbian. This was her being uncomfortable in the situation, but being paid for it. I sat back and watched her be groped, tasted, and prodded by Sherry, all without a single word being said.
When my ex was laying back on the sofa, getting eaten out, I maneuvered myself behind Sherry and started fucking her. I fucked her long and hard, occasionally looking at my ex's face staring back at me. When it was time, I came deep inside Sherry, who moaned into Cindy's lap.
Then, abruptly, Sherry and I stood up and went to the bathroom to clean up. I sent Sherry into back the living room to give my ex her standard payment, along with the bonus. I didn't even say goodbye to my ex. I can only imagine how she felt having one of my lovers pay her for sex.
It's been 6 days since that happened. With each of us doing our own Thanksgiving plans, my ex and I haven't had time to talk. I have no idea if we are still on for next week or not. I don't know how she feels about being treated like what she actually is - my paid whore. But I do know one thing: I love it.
submitted by redemption973 to stories [link] [comments]

2020.11.29 04:51 LionBabe919 Interracial Relationships and Polyamory

This is lengthy so heads up. No TL;DR because I just can't sum this up. Also, this subreddit sucks when it comes to race and I already know there will be some nonsense comments. I am not gonna engage with those.
I (late 20s, F) broke up with my ex (early 20s, NB) in September. We were together for a little over a year and they have a wife (late 20s, F) that they have been married to, at that time, a year and a half.
I've had a few months to reflect on how race played a role in the relationship ending. It wasn't the only, or even main factor, but it was a major one. I am black, my ex and their wife are white. A big mistake we made was not having an explicit conversation from the beginning about being in an interracial relationship, especially in a polyamorous context. It led to some deep wounds I'm still healing from.
My partner was incredibly inflexible with their time and I had to see them very sparsely and always on their terms. For the first few months, I could only spend time with them when in an all-white space where I was put in uncomfortable situations. To their credit, they'd recognize some of it and address it ("Hey, I am not gonna ignore that ignorant thing that was said/done and will talk to them about it.") and I know they followed up. Still, they weren't connecting the dots on the larger picture that I shouldn't have had to be expected to put up with it for the sake of spending time with them at all. They only were available for one-on-one time once a month, twice if I was lucky.
We had two conversations about relationship styles. Both times, I made it explicitly clear that while I respected if they and their wife were hierarchical, it wasn't for me and I needed to know so I could adjust my investment accordingly. They reassured me that they are not hierarchical, apologized that they didn't spend as much time with me as they could have, and said it would balance out as their wife got a better handle on polyamory. I believed them even when the actions didn't match the words because: my ex and wife didn't live together and I was told it was an insurance marriage because they are both trans and my partner needed HRT.
I hadn't been told just how bad their wife had been struggling. Apparently, I was the first person my ex had Serious Feelings for outside some flings and she wasn't used to it. The hierarchy never balanced out, it got worse and the pandemic exposed it completely. I could make a whole post on hierarchy in this relationship so to make it short; from mid-February to mid July, my ex made very little effort to talk to me and I did not see them a once, not even six feet apart with masks on outdoors. The reason given was their severely immunocompromised housemate and strict pod rules.
With the George Floyd uprising, grieving my mom's death, and being completely touch deprived, I desperately needed my ex to show up for me. We only talked on the phone maybe 4 times and facetimed twice. They posted lots of racial justice things on social media, but couldn't seem to be available for me, their actual black partner.
They and their wife are both very codependent, and she demands a lot from my ex to support her with her addiction and mental health issues. The straw that broke the camel's back was when my ex and I finally made plans to interact in July. It was too much for her. My ex canceled on me, when we tried again the next day, canceled again. I found out she would have full blown panic attacks if my ex was at the grocery store "too long" or out for any extended period of time, and my ex had all but moved into her apartment when the pandemic began.
Lying about the hierarchy itself was hurtful, but I especially would never want to be secondary to a white meta. She was validated in ways that was off table for me that my ex didn't acknowledge; they could be a couple on social media, meet each other's families, my ex's default free time went to her, my ex referred to her as wife or gf but didn't want a label with me, ect. I couldn't bring myself to completely end things with them until two months later because I dreaded the idea of not even getting the crumbs they gave me, but I refused to keep being in a relationship I felt so unimportant and undervalued in.
So yeah, wanted to share because I know other people of color have probably gone through something similar and I want y'all to know you're not alone. I am only going to date one person at a time until the pandemic ends. I'm not opposed to interracial dating- I met a desi woman and was seeing her for a short while, but I know I don't want to be with another white person.
submitted by LionBabe919 to polyamory [link] [comments]

2020.11.29 04:50 ThrowAwayByTonight You're being pathetic

People with rental trucks having the need to "box in my car", just because it is luxury. Am sorry your life didn't turn out the way you imagined, but parking your rental trucks (occurred more than once, different people) close to mine so I can't open my door won't change a thing for you.
Just because I have a luxury car it doesn't mean I was raised with silver spoon. My family immigrated to the US from a muslim country, because we are christians. We left with nothing but some clothes, because it was either convert religion or die; I have nothing against muslims, few assholes doesn't speak for the rest of them. Was a troubled kid through high school, barely graduated community college and got my shit together at a city university. Got extremely lucky with my "first real job" and with barely any work/life balance, I got to a level in my career where usually is 15 years for others (am 8 years in). Yes, I do make north of $200k, which allows me to support family and my parents. By the way, the hot European wife is my University sweet heart. She isn't with me because of money, she started dating me when I had nothing. And yes, she is wearing Chanel, that's because she has allowed me to focus on my career and put up with all those times I had to travel. And now she is putting her career on hold to raise our son.
In conclusion, you parking your rental truck close to mine won't change a damn thing.
submitted by ThrowAwayByTonight to rant [link] [comments]